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Old Apostolic Lutheran Church of America: A Cult?

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When the Baby Boomers took over from the aging Greatest Generation, they dissolved the corporation of the church, "updated" their articles of belief, reincorporated under a slightly different legal name, and established a website.

  1. [Men only.] A total circumcision, complete and holy in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
  2. [Men only.] A California haircut, like, well, you know, you suddenly need a haircut in the middle of the night when the moon is full, and well, you need a haircut for the salvation of your soul, and Jesus wouldn't recognize you on judgment day if you didn't have the right haircut.
  3. Jewelry and even wristwatches are absolutely forbidden, with the sole exception of a woman's diamond wedding ring.  "We're thieves and whores."  If you're obedient, you will be able to get up and make it to work on time without wearing a watch.

Dress: long pants and long-sleeved shirts are required at all times for men.  Sport coat and slacks but no necktie whenever they are with other "Christians."  Women are required to wear a skirt or dress, that comes below the knees but not so long that it drags on the ground, nylon stockings and high-heeled pump shoes, and a scarf over their head whenever they are at church or with other "Christians."

Ceremonies: numerous uncorrected grammatical and spelling errors in the confirmation, marriage, and baptism ceremonies, but these are redundant because circumcision is required, and marriage is by common law and enforced by mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law from hell.  No obvious errors in the funeral service: there is usually no doubt that the deceased is really dead at an open-casket funeral.

They lie, they cheat, they steal, they break into houses, they do drugs, they deal drugs, and so on and so forth.

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It's time to preach to these people with the same judgment with which they judge others from the "original" King James Version of the Bible as specified in the updated articles of incorporation of their "church."

First, the circumcision.  For this alone they will be flayed alive and roasted in the pits of hell for eternity.

>>>And Satan answered the LORD, and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man hath will he give for his life. But put forth thine hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse thee to thy face. [Job 2:4-5]<<<

And why do they do this? One word: Schadenfreude. Like a dog breeder's malicious smirk at docking the tail and snipping the ears of a puppy, only they do this and insist that this be done to their own newborn children in order to satisfy their own sexual perversion of Abrahamic righteousness.

Second, they insist that a "Christian" must have three testimonies in order to be saved.  How strange is this? Exactly as strange as a man with three testicles. Let us turn to Matthew, Mark, and Luke for the testimony of Jesus' words.

>>>But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. [Matthew 18:6]<<<

>>>And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea. [Mark 9:42]<<<

>>>It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. [Luke 17:2]<<<

And what does John the Evangelist say about this?

>>>He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. [John 3:18]<<<

Third, they have a "movement" like clockwork at a certain time every month, when they formally ask forgiveness of their sins and have communion, with Manischewitz wine and imported Swedish gluten-free crackers of some sort of grain.  And Manischewitz wine?  They may as well serve Absolut Vodka with those crackers.

>>>And that which thou sowest, thou sowest not that body that shall be, but bare grain, it may chance of wheat, or of some other grain: But God giveth it a body as it hath pleased him, and to every seed his own body. [1 Corinthians 15:37-38]<<<

>>>Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. [Galatians 6:7-9]<<<

Fourth, the "localities" which they maintain as certain jurisdictions after a sort where they issue open and secret judgments from the pulpit of their self-righteousness as well as inflict open and on the other hand secretive, collusive, and far-reaching punishments pursuant to those judgments without the possibility of defense or recourse on the part of the accused.

>>>Palmer, Alaska; Newark, Delaware; Chatham, Detroit, and Hancock, Michigan; Delano, Duluth, Kingston, Minnetonka, and New York Mills, Minnesota; "Flathead Valley," (i.e., Kalispell,) Montana; Wilmington, North Carolina; Gackle and Watford City, North Dakota; Aberdeen, Lake Norden, and Spearfish, South Dakota; Brush Prairie, Davenport, Heisson, "Lewisville," (i.e., Battle Ground,) "Tri-Cities," (i.e., Richland / Kennewick / Pasco,) Woodland, and Yacolt, Washington; Marengo, Wisconsin; Moorcroft and Sheridan, Wyoming; Summerland and Vanderhoof, British Columbia; and Barrie and Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.<<<

The "privilege" of marriage is made dependent not only upon the circumcision but also upon the ownership of real estate in one of the aforementioned "localities" with all the crooked dealing that entails.  Others refer to these "localities" as "principalities:"

>>>For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. [Ephesians 6:12]<<<

 

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