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Ronald

Is it normal for nerds to strangle people with their thighs?

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Authorities say a jock has been strangled to death by a nerd after he had given the nerd a swirly.

The victim was underage so he has not been named. Witnesses say they discovered the jock in a public bathroom after his football game, laying on the ground unconscious. He had bruises on both sides of his neck. Professional investigators have noted that they look like a nerd strangled the boy with his thighs.

DNA evidence was connected and security cameras in the area were checked. The nerd, Stanley Anderson, says this about the incident, "It was his fault! He gave me a swirly and I gave him what he deserved. Yes, I did strangle him with my thighs."

The nerd was charged with second-degree murder and 5 years in prison on a $5,000 bail. Someone who has chosen to remain anonymous bailed the nerd out of jail. This is what he said, "I'm an 84-year-old beta male who is sexually attracted to nerd thighs. I want this nerd free on the streets."

The family of the young jock also speak out. They said, "This is a terrible tragedy which has caused deep sadness in our lives and in the lives of others who have known our son."

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